Some Book Recommendations

If you are a reader and looking for some inspiring and insightful books, try these:
Lit (by Mary Karr) is a memoir of her early and middle adult years, including her conversion journey. The author is a poet who tells her story with honesty and humility, boldness and humor. I listened to the audio version gotten from the library in which Ms. Karr is the reader and I could almost picture her as I listened to her voice. Another great read is Still Alice by Lisa Genova who holds a PhD in neuroscience from Harvard. This is a fictional account of a Harvard professor who is diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer’s, and is written in the first person, as a month-by-month account. Ms. Genova’s professional work is with the National Alzheimer’s Association which gives her realistic insight into the progression of the disease. If you have ever wondered what it must be like to be an Alzheimer’s victim, or how to relate to someone who has been diagnosed, this book will be very helpful. Finally, I recommend Sabbath by Wayne Muller. If you are one of us who feels overcommitted and harried by the demands of life today, wondering how to keep your balance and stave off guilt at the same time, you will benefit from Muller’s observations. There’s a reason for the necessity of rest, of saying no, of retreating to regroup, and it has nothing to do with selfishness. Do yourself a favor and read this book.
THE VIEWS EXPRESSED ON THIS BLOG ARE MINE ALONE AND DO NOT REFLECT THOSE OF MY EMPLOYER.

Comments Wanted

Recently in our parish we have been having conversations about the spark that seems to be missing from our community. [Some] People come to Mass and go home, but when we have special events, they’re nowhere. Example: We had a rousing prayer service a few Sunday nights ago, contemporary music, lay preaching, and it was a deanery-wide event. We had about 150 people – from the entire deanery. Last weekend we had a tri-parish Eucharistic procession – about 190 people – from 3 parishes. Yesterday was the life chain and I hear there were 3 people from St. Helen’s. We have just 6 adults in our conversion process- the RCIA. On Sunday mornings we average about 10 people in our adult ed discussion group. Our parish is one of about 1500 families. Where are we going wrong? How do we feed peoples’ hungers? Honestly, we’re knocking ourselves out with work, but the results are modest. We don’t know where we should be going or what we should be offering. I have eliminated the comments section from my blog, because it was used so seldom, but I will reinstate it for this column only. If you have ideas to share with me and our staff, you are also welcome to email me directly. What can a/our faith community do for you that would be helpful?
THE THOUGHTS OFFERED ON THIS BLOG ARE MINE ALONE AND DO NOT NECESSARILY REFLECT THOSE OF MY EMPLOYER.

The Forgiveness Process

If I were to believe everything I read, I would think that forgiveness –or lack of it –is the number one social issue today. It may be that this is true. We can’t get past an incident and therefore are willing to sacrifice a relationship rather than work through the difficulty. There is a place online called The International Forgiveness Institute (forgiveness-institute.org), located at the Univ of Wisconsin, Madison, that has been studying forgiveness since 1994. It’s a tremendous site and I recommend that you go there and read the research. A couple of things stand out to me: forgiveness is NOT about forgetting. Forgive and forget? -rarely possible. We seem to have a radar for remembering past hurts. But here’s the thing that has been revelatory to me, and it is contained in the process for forgiveness. The process goes something like this: 1/ uncover the incident/hurt 2/ decide to forgive 3/ work to accept the pain 4/ experience healing. So this research says that it is going to hurt, but the hurt must be absorbed somewhere. To give the hurt back is not forgiveness, it’s retaliation. Carry the pain – that’s part of forgiveness. It’s not going to go away, but by carrying it myself I can stop it from further destruction and forgiveness is possible. Much easier said than done. In the Christian context we are bearing some of the pain of the crucifixion – we’re at the foot of the cross instead of running away as we often are. I want to feel better but this process doesn't automatically accomplish that. This follows on the heels of last blog about loving our enemies. Someone said to me that when an olive branch is extended and the other person refuses to cooperate, we’re back at square one. But this is reconciliation, not forgiveness. Forgiveness involves one person; reconciliation involves two. I can’t control anyone but me.
THE VIEWS EXPRESSED ON THIS BLOG ARE MINE ALONE AND DO NOT NECESSARILY REFLECT THOSE OF MY EMPLOYER.

The Ethic of the Enemy

Last week I attended an interesting workshop with nationally renowned speaker, Dr. Mike Carotta. The presentation was essentially the work of his wife, Dr. Catherine Carotta, in her research on the spirituality of the educator. It was a great morning but there was one piece that especially intrigued me, not so much because it was new information, but because it was information that I knew subconsciously but had never brought to awareness, and it was this: the ethic of the enemy. This refers to the realities present when, in the workplace, social setting, family, etc. one makes enemies. Carotta identifies three ‘benefits’ from that reality: 1/ avoidance of responsibility (there’s now someone to blame for whatever the situation is) 2/ increased bonding with those in agreement (team mentality – security in knowing I am not alone in my thinking) 3/ identity clarification (glad I’m not like that). This struck me because I can see myself in this description, and on both sides of it. I have been the one who has been blamed, isolated, and shunned, and I’m sad to say, I have also been the accuser, the excluder, and the avoider. In fact I can even say it has felt good at times to be on the team. Where is that clear voice of faith in all of this? And I remind myself (and anyone else who may be listening) as I quote this Lucan passage, “Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you.” Luke 6:27-28 What a challenge these words present! -but it's only in heeding these words that bridges are built, community is formed, possibilities have a chance of beconing realities for a better, more unified family, neighborhood, workplace, world. God give us the strength.
THE VIEWS EXPRESSED IN THIS BLOG ARE MINE ALONE AND DO NOT NECESSARILY REFLECT THE VIEWS OF MY EMPLOYER.

Who Are Your Whos?

I recently read something interesting about Dr. Seuss. This may not be new information to many of you, but it was to me. His name was Dr. Theodor Geisel, and following WWII, he went to Japan as a correspondent for Life Magazine. While there, he came to have an appreciation and respect for the Japanese people and their culture, and developed quite a different attitude toward the Japanese than most in the United States at that time. In fact, he wanted to influence those American attitudes which he believed were wrong, and to this end, wrote Horton Hears a Who! In this children’s classic, Horton protects the small and vulnerable Whos of Whoville from the large, powerful animals in the forest, while repeating his refrain, “A person’s a person, no matter how small.” In a happily-ever-after ending, all of the animals come to love the teensy Whos and the forest becomes again a peaceful and pleasant place in which to live. I don’t remember reading this particular Dr. Seuss book to my children, but I did read it just last week in our session for those preparing to become Catholic! It fit right in as we discussed Catholic Social Teaching which is grounded in the respect and dignity of each human person, even our enemies. If I had grandchildren, I would read this book to them every chance I had. I would talk about the Whos and help them identify the Whos in their little lives. I would read it to them when they were 3 and when they were 4 and when they were 5. And when they were 8, I would ask them if they knew any Whos, and how they were treating those Whos. -And I would ask them again at 9 and 10 and 14 and 17. I would make a game of it until they so identified their Gram with respect for all humankind that it would be a life lesson that they would always carry, one that would continue teaching them long after my death. Catholic Social Teaching has much to give us; how much better to begin with the very young! For a complete description of the seven principles of Catholic Social Teaching, visit usccb.org, the website for our American bishops' conference.
THE VIEWS EXPRESSED ON THIS BLOG ARE MINE ALONE AND DO NOT NECESSARILY REFLECT THOSE OF MY EMPLOYER.

The Examined Life

Socrates gave us the great axiom in his Apology 38a: "...the unexamined life is not worth living..." - and yet it seems to me that most of us live just such a life. I have been haphazard at best in critically reviewing my daily goings-on. I might take a stab at it when I celebrate the Sacrament of Reconciliation, but up until a couple of months ago, that was the only discipline I applied to such a task. That has changed. I was reading about St. Ignatius of Loyola and his Examen which he made a daily requirement of his priests, and I decided to try it. It has been life-changing on several levels. The Examen consists of 5 steps, and practitioners are encouraged to process through these once or better twice a day: 1/ recall that you are in the presence of God 2/ look at the day with gratitude 3/ ask for the guidance of the Spirit 4/ review the day, looking for places where God may have been communicating with you; begin with the morning (or when you last did this) up until where you are at this point in the day 5/ reconcile and resolve to make changes where necessary; speak to God openly about what you have reviewed. You may end with Lord’s Prayer. This process can take as few as 10-15 minutes, or much longer, depending on one’s availability. The greatest gift of this process for me, at least at this point, is to slow down my life – recognizing that every single day is a gift to be opened, and being grateful for this gift. I ask myself at night what I did with this gift – did I waste it or move forward with it. It used to be that life just went on, with my thinking about what I had to do in the coming week, or a project due in a month or two, or whatever. But now I have come to appreciate the gift of today, and to treat it with all of the awe and respect which it deserves. Ignatius was on to something here. See what you think.
[For a more complete explanatian of the Examen, go to: http://norprov.org/spirituality/ignatianprayer.htm]
THE VIEWS EXPRESSED IN THIS BLOG ARE MINE ALONE AND DO NOT NECESSARILY REFLECT THOSE OF MY EMPLOYER.

From Gratitude to Greed

We heard in Sunday’s gospel about the dangers of greed – of storing up wealth to deceive oneself into a false sense of security. Greed is a tricky business; it seems like the password for today’s culture – especially in the USA. It’s hard to live in our neighborhoods and work in our offices without looking left and right once in a while. I had an occasion to experience first-hand how greed can creep into our vocabulary, almost unobserved. I hate to bring this up yet again, but yes, we were on vacation a few years ago on a cruise ship. After dinner we strolled into the casino, each with a fistful of quarters. I spotted the Wheel-of-Fortune slot and made a dash toward it. The best part about that machine is that when you get the wheel icon, you get to spin for how much you’ll win. It can probably go up to a hundred or two, maybe more. After a few frustrating minutes I got three ducks – disappointment – no wheel icon. But then the bell and light started going off and I was just kind of stunned into wondering what this was all about. Pretty soon a crowd had gathered around me and I saw the ticker counting up how many quarters I had won. Ohmygosh…it was up past two hundred! That’s what – 50, 75 dollars I am thinking? But it just kept going – 300, 400, 500 700, 1000 quarters. Whoa – that’s $250!! But it kept going! My son was one who had gathered and said to me that he thought I might have won the jackpot – whatever that was. By now my eyes were wide open and watching the ticker go – now past 2,000 quarters! My heart was racing; I was in this thing now! Keep going – keep going I’m thinking! And then it got to 3,000 quarters!!! – and then it STOPPED!! I was DEVASTATED!! Stopped!! How could you STOP you crazy ticker?! More more MORE I’m thinking…wow…$50 seemed exciting at first and now $750 was a disappointment. Greed is seductive; I have never forgotten that lesson. In talking about living with less, James Martin describes the “surprising freedom of downward mobility.” But that’s another blog.
THE VIEWS EXPRESSED IN THIS BLOG ARE MINE ALONE AND DO NOT NECESSARILY REFLECT THOSE OF MY EMPLOYER.